Welcome to the dog days of summer, when the sweltering heat and the spike in your electric bill force you to face some of the worst wardrobe nightmares imaginable. It may be too hot to rock your favorite pair of jeans, and those springtime booties are definitely causing you more sweat than they’re worth, but all of this does not warrant giving up on fashion sense altogether in order to get through the peak in summer temps. I actually do understand, especially considering I live in a city that’s seen consecutive 100-degree days as of late, but what I don’t understand is why we tend to let our sense of style (and class) fly right out the window just because it’s hot.
With that in mind, I’ve put together a fair list of summer fashion faux pas that we all need to keep in mind when dressing for work, play, or rompin’ around town. Consider it an eye-for-an-eye type of thing where I’m your guardian angel sent from fashion heaven to assist you in achieving a look appropriate enough to survive the hottest days of the year–in style.
What to make sure you avoid before leaving the house this summer:
1. Dark underwear under white garments. MAJOR NO-NO. Ladies, I love white shorts, jeans, skirts, and dresses just as much as you do, but please please please consider what happens when you walk out the door with a bright red panty on underneath those crisp summer whites. Everyone can see right through to your bum, which is hopefully not what you are going for. Nude underwear is the perfect match (and available everywhere—no excuses!) for all those light-colored bottoms–and tops, for that matter. It can provide the ample coverage you need and will help you avoid the dreaded stares of perverts around town. Do yourself a huge favor and invest in some skin-toned skivvies and keep it classy.
2. Flip flops. This may come as a shock, especially to Americans, but flip flops are only appropriate for the beach, pool, public showers, while getting a pedi, or, in jail. Not to mention, you are taking some serious health risks by sporting flip flops around the city running errands. Think about all the nasty junk that gets trapped and tacked on your feet because it’s too hot to wear normal shoes. Consider a sleek sandal instead, like these ($13 from Target). They provide enough protection for your footsies while also allowing them some breathing room so you won’t pass out from walking everywhere this summer. I know, I know, flip flops are so easy to throw on and go, but being fashionable does not mean being lazy. Take a minute to find a sweet pair of sandals, flats, wedges–whatever your heart desires. There are plenty of styles are out there; it’s time to step up to the plate like a big girl and let go of the lazy lady footwear.
3. Short shorts. Short shorts are not for everyone. Wouldn’t the world be such a wonderful place if we all had the legs for daisy dukes? YES, it would, but sadly, that is not the reality we’re dealing with here. I have seen far too many girls stompin’ around town thinking they are super cute with their butts literally hanging out of their shorts. Have some pride, ladies. If you’re bearing all the goods for everyone to see, you’re going to end up stereotyped as ‘the slutty one.’ Ouch. Give yourself a chance to get checked out for your exuberant fabulousness instead of the way your booty hangs out from ill-fitting clothes. Don’t get me wrong, short shorts are actually a staple of my own summer wardrobe, but I am always cautious to wear styles that are not two sizes too small (so as to avoid the eternally maligned camel toe) or too big (so my bum doesn’t fall out when I walk, sit, or ride my bike). We should feel lucky to have shorts in our lives these days; they are the only thing (aside from dresses) getting us through the heat. So save your risqué fashion for the bedroom, girls–I love you, but your giving the rest of us a bad name.
4. Lightweight dresses without a slip. Ok, how many of you own a slip? I hope all of you raised your hands. If you don’t already know, slips are the perfect summer undergarment. They are typically made of silk, a light and breezy fabric that prevents the general public from seeing your personal goods through your favorite dress or skirt. Now that we all know what a slip is, lets try one on for size. Your favorite day dress is a lightweight cotton blend in off-white, or maybe pink, or whatever your favorite color is; regardless of how light or dark the color, the point is, we can see right through it when the sun hits your beautiful body. Now, unless you are trying to show the world what you look like without clothes on, I highly recommend trying out one of these slips. You can always find one at your local thrift store, or, you can treat yourself to a modern one from your favorite lingerie shop. Either way, women seem to forget what slips are and what they are used for. Do yourself a favor and don’t leave home without one (unless, of course, you like being tailed by creepers).
5. White socks and sandals. White socks and sandals? I’m not quite sure how this started. Maybe LeBron James was seen after practice in tube socks and Adidas flip flops years ago or something and somehow, both men and women thought it was a rad fashion trend. Errrr–no. Most of us are not NBA athletes coming home from practice. Why one would even consider wearing white socks with sandals baffles the mind. In addition, cotton socks are possibly the hottest choice for your feet in the summer and, when paired with sandals, just make the rest of the world feel uncomfortable. Why would you do this to yourself? Bottom line: If you want to wear socks, put some shoes on. If you want to wear sandals, you don’t need socks. END OF STORY.