CHESTICULAR PRANCER SUPPORT GROUP

This one’s for all the boobylicious ladies out there who have resolved to get it in gear this year. Whether you are doing too much flip-floppin’ while clip-cloppin’ along Kelly Drive, or, as one of our staffers can attest, nearly suffocating yourself during shoulder stand in yoga practice, there’s gotta be an effective solution for keeping the dogs in the house (’cause we’re not talkin’ about puppies here). Sadly, I have found a very paltry selection of sports bras for the chesticular prancer here in the US—but, as is almost always the case, a simple search across the pond provided many more ample solutions.

The first, and best, choice that comes to mind is Rigby & Peller, corsetieres to the Queen herself–who you know MUST be hiding some gazongas under those prim little suits of hers because 90% of women in the UK were somehow blessed with huge boobs. But, for us commoners, I present to you some more affordable choices–not cheapaffordable. We’re talking about precious cargo here, and the bargain bin ain’t gonna cut it.


British brand Freya gives us an alternative to the usual uni-boob-producing compression bras with their Active Soft Cup Sports Bra, which lifts, supports, and separates.  Sure, it looks a little Madonna-esque (Gaga would probably wear it solo), but one reviewer claims to be able to do jumping jacks in it–with all body parts in sync. And, it looks comfy enough to wear every day if you should so choose.

Looking to purchase a hybrid? I give you HerRoom‘s Arc-Control Sports Bra (voted Best Sports Bra Brand by Booby-doo UK), which is one part compression and one part encapsulation with an “Oh s**t” band across the top of the bust. You could do handstands on a trampoline with a small child–nobody’s going anywhere. Heck, who even needs a safe when you’ve got this?

I would include a true compression bra, but when the area you’re compressing morphs into Pangea, there’s really no point. You may as well wear a tube top. However, the 7 Wonders Bra from Title 9 just may be the eighth wonder of the world. Combining adjustable straps, molded cups, a supportive racerback and moisture-wicking fabric, this ta-ta tamer‘s got it all.

Lastly, and most importantly, make sure you are buying and wearing the right size to ensure a great fit.  To find yours, here is a handy dandy size calculator that spits out both US and international sizes. Hope this little guide helped; and here’s to happier hopping!

Love,
Your Resident Athletic Supporter, Natalie ♥

1. HerRoom Shock Absorber Arc-Control Sports Bra, $68
2. Title 9 7 Wonders Sports Bra, $54
3. Freya Active Soft Cup Sports Bra, $60

–NATALIE OPSITNICK
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2 responses to “CHESTICULAR PRANCER SUPPORT GROUP

  1. Loved your “Chesticular Prancer Support” review of support bras! (Great title, also!) My fav is the blue, “7 Wonders Bra”, by Title 9 – the bra looks really comfy, and the blue shade is so pretty! Traveled to your “size calculator” page – great! Thanks SO much, “Resident Athletic Supporter, Natalie”, for another Super-Duper, helpful review! You are always SPOT-ON! 🙂

  2. The bra from Title 9 is by Moving Comfort and I have one of their bras already (purchased via T9!) and it is AMAZING. Before I had used the VSX bras and thought they were fantastic, but when I tried MC’s bra it was such a difference. I just ordered a second bra from them and will be happily wearing it during my half marathon.

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