THE OVAL OFFICE: WHERE’S THE POLITICAL GLAMOUR?


The Oval Office underwent an extreme makeover this week. Apparently, a team of designers swooped in for ten days and gave the place a facelift while the first family was away… Let’s assess, shall we?

The rug is, of course, the most important part of the renovation, and the President kept it… neutral. Uhhh? Actually, the whole office is pretty boring if you ask me. It’s drab… and frankly, looks a little cheap. This is beyond disappointing to me because this room should clearly be the most fabulous office in the world…


The designers also accented the room with two blue ceramic lamps. Again: BORING. Actually, the only thing in this room worth discussing is the handmade striped wallpaper. And for Obama’s sake, I hope it was made in America. If only the White House had accepted my design proposal, we would all be looking at something that looks more like the green room at the Oscars… oh yes!

The final price tag is being kept in the confidential file; hopefully, all of the pieces were donated because otherwise… someone should break out the presidential veto.
–MATT MORGAN
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